The LGBTQIA+ D.A.T.E. Report sheds light on new trends within the queer dating scene
BY ELLA GAUCI, IMAGES BY HINGE
Hinge released its second annual LGBTQIA+ D.A.T.E. (Data, Advice, Trends, and Expertise) Report on 6 June, revealing new trends within the queer dating scene. Asking 14,000 daters about their preferences, Hinge collected key data about everything from coming out to relationship timelines. We spoke to Hinge’s Love & Connection Expert and licensed therapist, Moe Ari Brown, about some of the key findings.
76% of queer daters on Hinge wish they had seen more examples of healthy LGBTQIA relationships in the media growing up
For a majority of the LGBTQIA daters on Hinge, the lack of representation for happy and healthy queer relationships within the media has left them feeling like they don’t have a blueprint. We asked Moe how the lack of visibility for queer relationships can affect our own adult love lives. “It can mean that we’re still exploring identity as we’re dating,” Moe explains. “This lack of visibility could impact our comfort level in relationships. Not many of us grew up with a representation of healthy queer relationships, and we also had to experience these counter-narrative, negative representations of who we are. Without those positive supports in place to combat that negativity, we could be dating while trying to get comfortable in our relationships as well. You’re trying to figure out love and be an activist at the same time!”
But while it can be hard to go through love without any obvious role models to turn to, Moe says that this can also be a place for you to advocate for your own desires in a relationship. “Be your own love goals. There’s an opportunity [due to a lack of representation] to co-create what is actually meaningful to us,” they continue. “We don’t have these blueprints. Many of us are rethinking what love can mean in our lives. For a lot of people, tradition doesn’t work. There’s a possibility of creation for queer people which I love.”
50% of LGBTQIA Hinge users want to learn how to build trust better
Moe’s advice? Try Slowmance!
“Slowmance is becoming more popular because it is a slower process of building that emotional intimacy and really focuses on friendship as the foundation for the relationship,” they explain. “If we don’t spend the time building communications strategies that work for us, if we don’t spend the time building trust, or intimacy and rapport, then our relationship can’t stand. In this context, people are leaning out of rushing towards emotional intimacy and instead trying to make sure we actually know each other.”
While sapphics tend to have the stereotype of “U-hauling”, by adopting this slower pace for a relationship you can actually build even better emotional intimacy and trust.
“Don’t skip the small talk or the humour,” Moe adds. “Take the pressure off at the start. Prioritise the levity early on.”
Coffee shops are the number one Low Pressure Date spot amongst LGBTQIA daters
Gone are the days of dimly lit bars where the music is so loud you can’t hear yourself think! LGBTQIA daters are turning more towards Low Pressure Dates to get to know each other. In a more relaxed environment, you can actually build connection without the added pressures of a bar or club.
“Sometimes when we’re going out with someone at night, we might not know when the night is going to end. If you go out in the daytime, you can have better time boundaries,” Moe says. “There’s this pressure on nighttime dates to be romantic. As we’re trying to slow things down, the coffee shop is a great space to do a vibe check before you go on romantic dates. The romantic dates can put this pressure on the relationships to have this level of attraction built in.”
Only 55% of lesbian daters on Hinge are completely “out” to their whole family
While there can be challenges within a relationship if partners have different desires surrounding openness, Moe encourages couples to have a conversation about being open. “You might find that the person is not out to their family because they may or may not have felt the necessity. Don’t make assumptions about someone’s level of openness just because they aren’t out.”
You can read the full report here.
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