Several slices of the London queer community talk in depth about what it means to create a family, in this heartfelt DIY debut
BY ELLA GAUCI
Could you tell us a bit about what inspired you to make this film?
I moved in with friends and we were planning on sharing a sperm donor and the conversations we were having were intense and funny. These conversations were recorded as audio files and from there I began to piece together a film. This isn’t the first time I made work about my personal experiences, I make paintings and drawings too and in 2018 I made a performance with a group of musicians and friends about our attempts at polyamory called More Than Two which was performed at the Barbican.
What is the key message you hope LGBTQIA audiences take from your film?
An aspect of this film is about raising awareness. Not everyone knows about the gay tax on fertility. I think there’s still a taboo within the queer community about wanting to have children having been left out of conversations and legal rights for so long, this film asks this tender question – what is it for queers to want to reproduce?
What are the main themes that your film explores?
It’s about what it is to be bio-reproductive in a queer way, even as a desire, and its logistical, emotional and philosophical implications. The material I am drawing from is messy and private, it is about flows and exchanges of touches, utterances and fluids, and intimacy between bodies, objects and sites.
What is your favourite line or scene from your film?
My friend Edward and me discussing how we will go about inseminating, we are shrieking with awkwardness at the prospect of masturbation, cups, and syringes. Our friendship is longstanding, deep and trusting and the scene just speaks to the lengths he would go to support me.
How did you get into filmmaking and what has been your biggest challenge in the industry?
I am an artist and a lecturer in art at Goldsmiths University. I have always used video in my work. My challenge is that the world of film is all new to me, but I think this kind of obliviousness is also an advantage.
Why is LGBTQIA representation in film so important in 2024?
In making my film I discovered that equality is an illusion and a fantasy. There are many policies and laws stacked against queer people in this country alone. These stories need to be told. I grew up during Section 28 when “promoting” gay lifestyle or “pretend families” was banned in schools therefore we had lost a lot of stories from our elders and the knock-on effect of that has meant that younger queer people have grown up without a point of reference.
Why are events like BFI Flare which centre LGBTQIA films so important?
Queer films are personal, biographical and that is political. Flare is a party like any queer event should be – the celebration at the centre of Flare is attractive and by taking part in it I feel a part of a family. These events are so important because we can not take LGBTQIA rights and acceptance for granted and this event holds space each year to centre those experiences.
This year’s Flare is split into the themes of Hearts, Bodies, and Minds. Do you have an LGBTQIA film which affected your heart, body, or mind?
Derek Jarman’s Blue springs to mind. I studied this work and teach it to art students in video workshops. He never used an image except the blue colour throughout the whole length of the feature film, the image is instead conjured purely through sound and so Jarman asked his audience to use their own minds to picture the images he described as he lost his own vision due to the effects of the AIDS virus. It worked like a kind of empathetic transference where to a certain extent we embody his experience.
What do you hope to see in the future of LGBTQIA filmmaking?
Honesty and vulnerability about the contractions are at the heart of queer life in a culture that is sometimes accepting and tolerant and often not. What is the drive to be accepted and what have we done to give up our own needs and desires to become legitimate, where are we willing to make a stand and refuse? I am really interested in what happens when we address us.
What’s Safe, What’s Gross, What’s Selfish and What’s Stupid screens at BFI FLARE on 19th and 23rd March
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