We take a look at the monumental impact and legacy of Carol and Susan’s relationship on the hit show
BY AMY CHAPPEL, IMAGE BY NBC
Friends made history by airing the first ever lesbian wedding on primetime TV – an episode that to this day remains deeply significant.
This month marks 28 years since the hit American sitcom Friends aired “The One With the Lesbian Wedding”, featuring the on-screen marriage of Carol (Jane Sibbett) and Susan (Jessica Hecht). It was a television first: the initial depiction of a lesbian wedding ceremony on mainstream television!
Whilst same-sex relationships had been depicted on shows before, this was pioneering visibility for lesbian couples. The episode depicting their wedding sparked controversy at the time, even being banned on some conservative networks in the US. However, it also attracted over 30 million viewers and inserted a lesbian relationship firmly into mainstream pop culture worldwide.
Now, over a quarter of a century later, it’s an opportune moment to reflect on the legacy of Carol and Susan’s wedding. This year also marks 10 years since same-sex marriage was legalised here in the UK. The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 has had a monumental impact, with over 40,000 same-sex marriages taking place since.
When Friends debuted in 1994 and introduced Carol as Ross Geller’s ex-wife, it helped normalise same-sex relationships for many viewers. We followed Ross’ journey coming to terms with Carol discovering her sexuality and relationship with Susan. Though at times relying on stereotypes for quick laughs, Carol and Susan offered some of TV’s first three-dimensional lesbian characters. Their wedding episode in season two marked an unprecedented, groundbreaking moment in the sitcom genre.
At a time when same-sex marriage wasn’t legal, seeing two women walk down the aisle on primetime television was monumental. It helped pave the way for more authentic LGBTQIA representation on our screens.
Since then we’ve seen major progress in lesbian visibility on TV. Just last year, The L Word: Generation Q’s season 3 finale depicted the long-awaited wedding between fan favourites Bette and Tina – affectionately called “Tibette” by fans. After originally breaking hearts with their on-again off-again relationship in the original seasons, Tibette finally got their fairy tale ending. For longtime viewers deeply invested in their relationship, it was a cathartic, joyous moment cementing their status as iconic queer representation.
Whilst Carol and Susan’s wedding might seem understated by today’s standards, it was bold at the time. Some criticised elements as stereotypical, and the comedy somewhat distracted from the meaning. Most disappointingly, their actual vow exchange was never shown nor did we ever see the two kiss. However, for many LGBTQIA people in the 90s, simply seeing two women marry on a hit show was revolutionary.
In an interview with ITV’s Lorraine Kelly, Jane and Jessica explained: “We won awards for that [episode]. That was nothing to do with us but we won a GLAAD Award, so it was remarkable.”
Jane, admitting that she had no idea how much of an impact her character would have on the LGBTQIA community, continued: “I remember meeting a man at one awards ceremony that was held by an organisation that works with gay families. He said to me that if he’d had Carol and Susan as role models when he was a young boy, he probably wouldn’t have tried to commit suicide so many times. I hadn’t even thought of that.”
The episode challenged preconceptions of same-sex relationships and kickstarted conversations. So whilst an imperfect depiction by 2024 standards, in 1996 it was brave and pivotal.
So as we celebrate 10 years of marriage equality, we remember the marriage of Carol and Susan on Friends. Though not the first lesbian couple on television, their wedding was a landmark moment in visibility. Today, same-sex marriages are commonplace thanks to those groundbreaking firsts who paved the way towards acceptance. We also now get to see beautiful wedding scenes between couples like Bette and Tina. We remain indebted to couples like Carol and Susan and groundbreaking shows like The L Word who inched us closer to marriage equality.
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