DIVA met with Lo Shearing about the important work the Network does to protect bisexual survivors of abuse
BY ELLA GAUCI, IMAGE BY BI SURVIVORS NETWORK
In the wake of the rape and sexual assault allegations about Russell Brand, we must turn the conversation away from the perpetrators of these horrific acts to the ways that we can support the survivors of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse.
For Bi Awareness Week this year, we sat down with Lo Shearing, the founder of Bi Survivors Network, to talk about the importance of bisexual-centred spaces for survivors.
How did the Bi Survivors Network begin?
I was 22 and I had just gotten out of this long-term relationship. I was coming to terms with the fact that it had been sexually abusive and I felt like my bisexuality had been a factor in that. I was looking for support and I couldn’t find anything which was tailored to my experiences.
I began to do some research and ended up writing a piece about how bi people face higher rates of violence than gay or straight people which helped me understand my experiences a lot more. I also found out that bisexual people were reported as having more negative outcomes when they sought help than gay or straight people did. There was this gap where people weren’t being catered for.
How does biphobia directly affect survivors of sexual or emotional abuse in relationships?
A lot of people say that it’s just because of the fetishization of bisexual people. There is this belief that bisexual women are very hyper-sexual, don’t say no, are “exotic”, and are always down for it. This leads to “biphobic harassment” where men will harass bisexual women because they are believed to be promiscuous. Bi men also face higher rates of sexual violence. People think that they “need to be fixed” or that they are also hyper-sexual.
The other way that biphobia affects survivors is that bi people are overrepresented in other groups who also experience really high rates of sexual violence. For example, bi people are more likely to fall into addiction. Bi people also face really disproportionate rates of homelessness and mental illness. All of those things together create this storm of vulnerability.
There is also the fact that bi people aren’t believed when they talk about their sexuality or experiences. So why would we be believed about our experiences of sexual violence? That plays a part in why bi people have a worse time when they seek help.
Do you think that is impacted by “double discrimination”?
Absolutely. The double discrimination makes it hard to seek resources and also to feel like you deserve those resources. There are so many bi people in different gender relationships who feel like they shouldn’t take resources from “actually queer” people so they’re not seeking out support or adequate healthcare.
What sort of resources and support does the Bi Survivors Network offer?
At the moment we run fortnightly chats on Telegram (a secure messaging app). We use that because after the chats we can delete the group which removes any evidence of the chat from your phone. So if you’re in a situation where someone else is checking through your phone, they won’t see that you’ve accessed our support resource.
We also have a Survivor’s Wishlist you can request material stuff and allies can buy them for you. That’s useful for people who are fleeing their homes and need new things. Bi people are more likely to live in poverty, and survivors of sexual violence are more likely to live in poverty. We want to encourage people to ask for the material things they need.
Why is it so important to have bi visibility?
This Bi Awareness Week in particular is a good reminder of why we need to have an understanding and representation of all queer survivors. The Russell Brand stuff happening right now means it’s a really difficult week to be a survivor as it always is when any of these high-profile cases happen. It’s not just bi people who are survivors of sexual violence in the LGBTQIA community – it feels like this huge issue in our community which gets ignored a lot.
This week I think it’s important to move past the discussion about just what bisexuality means. I think having conversations about the issues which bi people face is so important. We’ve been having the same conversations over and over again. It feels like the bi-movement has gotten stuck. We really need allies and people within the community to uplift bi voices and perspectives.
What have been some of the highlights you’ve had with the Network? And what are some of your aspirations?
Anytime we have a really positive session where we have a group of survivors come together to support each other. You come away from it feeling better about the world. We’ve been to a lot of Prides – last year we did UK Black Pride with African Rainbow Family.
In the future, I would like to do some offline in-person events.
What are some misconceptions about bisexuality that frustrate you?
Everyone assumes that bisexuality is just female. Bi men exist! People just assume that bisexuality is very cis, very binary, and gender-conforming. As a genderfluid dyke, my experience of bisexuality is very different. People just assume that we’re just attracted to men and women. I would love to see more discussion about the range of gender identity in the bisexual community.
What are some ways that people can be an ally?
- Believe us! Believe survivors! Coming forward is so hard and so scary.
- Believe bi people about their experiences.
- Speak up for us. Call out biphobia in the communities that you’re in.
- Remember that we’re your comrades. We’re fighting for you too!
If you are a bisexual survivor of abuse, reach out to the Bi Survivors Network for support, resources, and help.
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